Couples Therapy
Couples therapy with Wellspring Connection is accommodating and affirming of all relationship styles including sexual orientation, gender expression, multi-cultural partnerships, and non-traditional relationships.
While there are different types of couples therapy, the overall goal is to foster better understanding, connection, and resilience within partnerships. Our team specializes in working from an Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) approach.
EFT prioritizes emotions and their impact on relationship dynamics, particularly with how we communicate and support each other.
Let's look at how an EFT approach would address the following common relationship issue: tension around an unequal distribution of responsibilities. One person is doing more work, and this feels unfair.
In our example, lets say one partner tends to be more distracted or aloof, while the other can be extra driven and focused. Whether this comes out in arguments or just a tense energy that simmers beneath the surface, an EFT therapist will help the partners connect with the emotional experience around their differences.
This focus on emotions is because when they're not unacknowledged, our emotions activate "the dance" - this is a reactionary space where a couple is no longer effectively communicating, but following a script that's written by their emotional triggers.
This script is where person A says ____, then person B responds with _____, and now the dance takes over. Usually this pattern exists across a number of different contexts, and can include language like "you never" or "I always."
You'll actually find many couples can accurately predict these scripts around situations that haven't even happened yet!
This scripts creates a dance that is clumsy and jagged, where following and leading is out of synch. The goal of EFT is to change the way we communicate our emotions in order to initiate a new dance. When our responses are more emotionally-focused and vulnerable, the dynamic shifts. When couples can learn to meet each other through this communication style, the dance can become graceful, playful, and supportive.
As relationship therapist Esther Perel says "It takes two people to create a pattern, but only one to change it."
Want to start building connection with EFT?
Many of our therapists specialize in couples therapy
Wondering about cost? Check out these resources:
Does insurance cover couples therapy?